Kristen Blog

Or pm...what does it matter?  I just don't like leaving things undone.  It may be the last you hear from me, but it will be finished!  So, the next day...June 16... All my children... ...was the day I've been looking forward to all along.  I got to see my lifetime friend!  (Oh darn!  I already shared the photo.  I get excited and jump the gun like that...💁)  We got to be alone together for like 30 whole minutes, and I'm pretty sure we picked up right about junior high. It was sooooooo good for my heart!   There are some friends that just click and you know they love you and you know you love them.  And then she started talking about having a girls' reunion and all the fun we would have, and I started to freeze up and said I would bring my family...and she said no I wouldn't and I finally felt safe to be honest (about a LOT of things!!), "Oh, Stacy...I don't do well in groups." And she had me at, "I know." Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

Because I need this right now, and I might as well share.  I don't know when I will have time again, to be honest. Kerri came along with us on our family trip.  (I joked that I brought myself a "busy bag."). I know I need to fix her right eye.  I had to wing that part, because it came out on the pattern as brown.  MY Sister Golden Hair's eyes were not brown!  (God, I still can't.  So much trauma, and my cookie jar is over-flowing right now.) On the morning of our first full day in Fort Morgan, I woke up early.  I was alone.  This is a rare moment for me.  (Less rare now that my favorite doctor in the world has given me the gift of authentic sleep...maybe we will come back to that.  Maybe not.) I decided to walk to the beach.  It was a special time. I wanted to scope things out, so I would have an idea of the place before I had all the others (and all the gear) with me.  It just makes everything easier if I know what I'm doing in advance.  People need a leader.

Actually, today is one of the lesser of my manic days...but oh, my oh, you guys.  It has been a WHIRLWIND.  I don't even know where to begin.  So, I will just begin with "vacation."     Couldn't miss the opportunity to visit one of my very few childhood friends! Of course, we all know there is no vacation for a mom traveling with 6 other people.  So, let’s just refer to it here as our “family trip.” [I find I survive a little better if I go into things with adjusted expectations.  (THAT revelation took awhile!) Had I gone into the whole thing believing I would be “vacationing,” my reactions would have been much more reactive.  As it was, I did not collapse in an adult tantrum at any point in the trip, and I consider that enough to call my performance a success.) My in-laws blessed us with a WONDERFUL place to stay together…despite the fact that there were 7 of us and 2 of them.  How's that for generosity?   I, especially, appreciated the time with the family.  As

 I call this one "The Big Fiasco."  Trust me, it's an understatement. I'm thinking of Lemony Snicket . Meet Goliath.  Or Leviathan.  Or Cthulhu.  I can’t decide.  Let me know what you think. I was looking forward to Thursday ALL WEEK LONG!  I was going to have the day off (with Matt) and the evening free from appointments, so I could go and enjoy my son's first Big, Big Show (it's a wiggles reference - a very appropriate one at that.  You'll only get it if you've been around awhile.) Unfortunately, my big, big ideas connected with a whole week of chaos and my circumstances got way out of control...again.  (You guys...I don't know what I'm going to do with me!!)  Where do I begin? It started with a stench - a stench, which has been brewing for awhile.  On occasion, of late, I have been caught off guard by a slight odor - I call it  "eau de dog and dudes" - as I entered my (not very private) chambers.   What the heck??!!  (Don't say

It's been awhile.  Business is picking up, and I am working HARD to be sure I do not get overwhelmed again.  It's so easy to lose the line between can and can't.  I've never been one for setting the best boundaries, after all.   Me too, little guy!  Pushing boundaries and thriving outside the box. I was comparing myself to "other moms" the other day (a task I do NOT recommend EVER).  I came across several situations where I realize I give my kids a lot more leeway than most.  For example, some 8th grade mom's were talking about submitting photos for the graduation video, and I commented that I was waiting for Dillon to choose some.  They were shocked, "Oh I will be choosing those photos." I couldn't imagine how they get away with that..   It happened again at prom pictures.  I was talking about how I won't post (generally) any pictures unless Eden approves them first.  They didn't seem to understand my reasoning.  Like..."It'

 Ugh.  I can NOT.   Things have been going so well.  Manageable at least.  Matt has taken on a lot on the homefront to lift some of my stress, and it was starting to feel like I was actually going to make it. I mean...I have plenty of chickens to happy-me.  It's just... I took on a little more than usual today...house chores, finished Eden's prom dress that has taken me about 50,000 hours and cost about $70 to make.  I have come to terms with the fact that, after all that time, effort, and money, she doesn't feel good about the way it fits.   I fixed all the problems on my end.  The flaw is now the design.  I finished the project to my satisfaction, and I will walk away content.  (And probably donate it to some super tall, ultra skinny grateful recipient.  I will donate through a third party, so I'll never have to know if it ends up in the trash.  It wouldn't be my first project that went unused.  It's why I don't tend to make things for anyone other than my

Well this sucks!   I'm sorry.  I don't let my kids say that word.  But it is currently the only one that can convey, for me, the depths of heartbreak and disappointment I am feeling. And also...I'm getting really sick of everyone getting sick.  These kids have had a NEW wave of junk in the last week, and I don't think I can take it anymore!!!  It's an expression deeply rooted in my inner child - ever since those good old junior high days - and I guess that's where I experience the rawest of chafings...that delicate fragile, inner self I barely recognize, rarely encounter and, frankly, don't really like all that much.  (For example, she obviously has a really inferior vocabulary.) Speaking of fragile and delicate...the signs of spring around here are definitely bringing me gratitude and joy.  Until the weather turns on me...spring can be such a tease sometimes. "Why is she so delicate right now?" you may be asking yourself.  (Or why this time?).  We