Kristen Blog

Sometimes people get my name wrong.  Sometimes I correct them.  But my absolute favorite is when someone calls me "Christian," and I never, never ask them to change it.  It is my favorite!  There is a lady at Synergy.  I didn't know her name until I'd been interning for all of about 6 months.  (It is easy to miss things in that place!  I also didn't know, for months, my work bestie was married to a co-worker OR that two a-stinking-dorable other co-workers were dating!)  Anyway, when I finally figured out her name, I was so proud I had to share it.  Every time she would walk by my office, I would shout, "Hi, KAREN!" like I deserved an award for being so smart.  She's a diva, and she's super sweet, so she got a big kick out of it, and she took great pause to shout back, "Hi, Christian!"  (SERIOUSLY  LOVE  her!!) When someone accidentally calls me "Christian," I beam inside, and I tell myself the mistake is "Freudian.&qu

Man, oh man, Friday had a rough start.  I got all weepy Thursday night (I've actually been quite weepy all week???  #emotional), and I stayed up too late.  I woke up Friday pretty sure I was going to keel over with exhaustion.  True fact.  I stood in the kitchen with my head on my elbows, supported by the counter, and I almost fell back to sleep, as I prayed and contemplated taking a sick day.  I chose to drink my mocha and push through. I had prepped an easy and fun lesson for my classes, who were on their last day of school before spring break.  Job Skills BINGO!  (with pretty awesome cupcake prizes - stolen from my pantry...sorry kids!)  There are a couple of classes I see, 2 in fact, which are particularly hard for me to get to.  Unfortunately, they also happen to be two of my very favorite groups of people, so I cannot NOT go.  It always seems to fall on my bus duty day, and I am scrambling to get Dillon on the bus and get Evan to Grandma's, and 8 am is just not possible

It's been a rough week, in many ways.  For one, I left the house several days by 8 or 9am and didn't return until 8pm.  Various things going on.  My schedule is flexible, and I am switching roles back and forth multiple times throughout the day and into the night.  Mom, teacher, counselor...counselor, teacher, Mom.  And sometimes they all just seem to blend together. But this week was particularly hard.  We buried a client.  Everyone is distraught.  I am distraught, on top of being weary...and I feel the additional burden of trying to carry hope into the scene, and sometimes that is just hard.  How do you insert hope in the midst of tragic grief?  I poured out all the love and compassion I had.  I served where I saw need that I could fill. I felt the exhaustion particularly in the mornings later in the week.  I was awake but not awake for the first few hours of the day.  By Friday, I just downright felt like I was running on fumes, and I really wasn't sure how I was goi

The fact that I can sit and listen to all kinds of stories of trauma for hours on end...That I can experience heated escalations and be the grounded, stable force...I can perform like a three-ring circus amid trash talking, downright rude and arrogant teens and  still  walk away with a smile.  But if my husband doesn't answer my text within 5 minutes...or the tech guy on the line tells me it will "only" take a week to fix and return my computer to me, I suddenly down-grade to a raging toddler at the height of her frustration induced, puddles of tears, foot stomping, arms flailing tantrum. Am I doomed to remain a complete and utter conundrum?! This is humanity, my friends.  This is Kristen Shanna, in the flesh.  Genuiiiiine for real.  Sometimes, or ALWAYS, it just feels like a game of "How Much Before She Blows" but unlike Old Faithful, I am consistently UNpredicatable in how much I can take. I have to give myself some kind of credit, though.  At least, in