Kristen Blog

Well...what I thought was going to be an almost boringly slow week, of course, turned out to be pretty busy, in the end.  It was kind of a wrap-up week.  I was finishing up with schools for their winter break and finishing with hours for my internship, because...I am SOOOOOO done with my first semester of my last class ever!  And I am just about to cash my check at the bank, 'cause I am so on track to graduate in May.  (Just kidding.  Graduation doesn't come with a check.  It actually comes with debt...just so we are clear. 😉) I started the week with an after-work school event.  I am so cynical when it comes to these, and I was soooooo feeling The Grinch about it. What kind of Mom doesn't love kids' programs?!!  For real?  You guys...I really don't like choir concerts and programs and special school events.  Like...at all.  Am I a bad mom?  Please don't tell my kids, because, apparently I have developed a bit of a poker face.  And I am really hoping to keep

Monday, bloody Monday.  At least, I believe, at the end of my life, I will be able to lie on my deathbed and think, "Well...that was...explosive." That's kind of how it feels, anyway.  Explosive.  Bombs going off around me all night and day, and I am just scrambling to deactivate and disengage. Monday started with a crisis in my own household.  I was left de-escalating my own child via text, while trying to drive to a school.  (Don't worry, homies.  I only texted at stoplights and stop signs.  I am a law-abider-ish.) And then my school hit me back-to-back-to-back with students all day long, and that is AWESOME, but intense.  And then I had a short moment to stop home for a salad before I had to rush to Synergy, and it was a needy day, and I peopled, A LOT.  And then I rushed to Eden's choir concert, and you guys!...I sat still for her for, like, 2 whole hours!  And it was probably only because I was so wiped out from the day that I was able to do it. So..s

Guess who just managed to complete the first of the last two semesters of her Master's Degree.  Me, that's who!  Granted, I will keep interning over the break.  BUT...I do not have to participate in any discussions or class work until mid January and then I am steamrolling my way to May.  The end is in sight, and I can see the light. Unfortunately my last week of class went out with a huge bang, and I had to take two whole sick days off of EVERYTHING.  Fortunately, it doesn't look like strep, because I am finally noticing a slight improvement today.  But speaking of misery, I have officially finished 1984.  And now I get why everyone winced when I mentioned reading it. It's like Ecclesiastes...with absolutely no hope...ever.  So, I decided to perk things up a bit, and I have resolved to finally finish Les Miserables.  Merry Christmas!  (You do know how that translates, right?!!  You get the joke???) 😉😂 Just in time, too, for my upcoming work trip.  'Cause

I was having the BEST week, at least partially motivated by a very special secret I was keeping.  (In case you don't know me, I am the absolute worst at keeping secrets.  I can't even keep a secret about myself.  I will do something terribly stupid - it happens quite frequently - and the first thing I will shout is, "Don't tell Matt!"  And, then, the first thing I do when I see him is blurt it all out.  I am so George Washington, only extra.  I can't tell a lie, and I can't not tell things I'd do best to just keep to myself.  However, this secret was precious to me.  This secret...I was definitely keeping...between me and a very few close friends.  And I was oh, so, happy.  But...THEN...I went to the dentist.  Who the (bad word) goes to the dentist and ends up coming home with a stinking home sleep study kit?!!  Ya girl, that's who.  (HUGE eye roll.  Unfathomably long eye lids.  Long, LOUD sigh.) I retrospect, I probably should NOT have yelle

Weekends are for catching up on paperwork, staying in my pajamas all day and decompressing from the stress of secondary trauma exposure and an intensely heavy workload, in general.  It is not, I must admit, for peopling.  I avoid peopling on the weekends as much as possible. I mean, people are great and all.  (Collectively, I hate them.  But, individually, I sure do love them.)  Still, one lady can only take so much peopling before she needs a break.  I personally believe I people more than most throughout the week, so that excuses me risking the potential of picking up an anti-social reputation on the weekends, don't you think?  Anyway, just in case you happen to be a close friend and you find me avoiding contact on the weekend, let's be clear.  It's not you.  It's me. So, this prefaces my reactive offense at the sound of the doorbell on a weekend day.  UGH!  NO!  Not today.  I cannot people today.  Who the (bad word) has come to interrupt my hard-earned solac

It started as a simple suggestion...an impulsive and spontaneous thought, like most other ideas that come straight out of my head and onto my tongue (I tend to talk and think at the same time...a personal flaw...).  I think it was the loss of my sister that spurred the idea.  For over a year, I just wished I could close my eyes and join her.  I was tired...so...so...tired.  I was tired and sad...sad like "I can't breathe" sad.  Sad like someone came in and sucked out all of the oxygen sad.  It was a deep, depressed grief, at one moment intensely sharp and painful, and the next so dull and dreary.  At times, I felt as if all the color of the world had faded out, leaving everything a  Wizard of Oz , Kansas gray.  Either pain was tough to bear. I was desperate to feel joy again.   I knew I could.  I have recovered from grief before.  It is a nasty part of life, really.  Of course, I'd never had to recover from this grief, and there were times I wasn't sure I ever